Memorial Day weekend was nice and long and I did NOT want to come back to work today. But alas, I did, with a great sigh and hope for a better week.

On Friday, a couple of us went out to dinner and then went to a bar. It was a lot of fun, though I was the DD but I got to have my fun on Sat. Saturday was a busy day for us. Rick and I went to the Farmer's Market on Old Market. Then lunch at Spaghetti Works. After that, we went to our neighbor's birthday cookout and ate and hung out until about 9ish. Then we went out to Old Market again and this time I got to drink.

Zynda, Ashley and I at Mixxers

Ashley and I at Nomads

On Sunday, I don't remember what we did in the morning. I think we just hung out at home. And then we went to Ashley's place for Sunday dinner. YUM! And then we went to Rumors, which was kind of weird, since it was hip hop night and it's not the usual crowd that we are used to. On Monday, we went to Chris and Michelle's place for another cookout and that was fun. Hung out, watched some tv and the guys played quite a bit of video games. We got home by 930. TIRED. And now I'm at work, just doing whatev for another 2 hours. I hope that the afternoon goes by fast like this morning.

Michelle and I

The hubby and I

Yeah, nothing else is really going on. It's been really good having Rick home and I am NOT looking forward to him leaving in 2 months. :-/ These last 2 months have gone by quickly. And that's because he got out to the desert early and then left late. So yeah... :-/ But then we will have Christmas, New Year, my birthday and Ashley's wedding to be together for next year. AND A TAX FREE YEAR! Which means our next year's return will be nice and BIG!!! :) YAY!

Last week, after a LOOOOONG day at work, I came home and found Rick with a big ole smile on his face. He asked for a glass of water from the fridge, and when I got there, there was a dozen roses just hanging out. I was so surprised. Since we have been together, I have gotten flowers 3 times from him. So this was a super big deal for me. They were beautiful. So I asked him what he was up to since I rarely get flowers. Well, he told me to start going through my steps of what I do when I get home and there would be a surprise. So I went through them and still couldn't find his surprise. Finally he told me to just lay down on my bed. I laid my head on the pillow and when I went to curl up with it, I found my surprise.

He had gotten me a gun. It's a 357 Smith & Wesson revolver. It's the coolest! It's big and heavy and it's the most comfortable gun that I can shoot. I've tried other ones. But I like this one the best. We finally took it out to shoot at the Bullet Hole on Sunday. It was a lot of fun and I'm so glad that he got it for me. He will be leaving this summer again. And I don't like that I only had his rifle for protection and that I don't like shooting it. So I'm glad I have the revolver. And then yesterday he got himself another gun, I forgot what it's called but it's a little one and it's also kind of cool.

It's so weird that I would be so interested in guns. I grew up in CA, where guns are usually associated with gangs and killings or kids doing stupid stuff with them. So it's weird to come out here and it's more open and not associated with all the negative stuff. We will be showing in the future our kids the proper way to take care of a gun and how not to use them, how they are not for shotting people, etc. Though I find that there's still a lot of people that don't like guns and have never used them. For now, it's just for going to the range and shooting for a while and for the protection of myself and the kitties when Rick is not home.

Lately, work has been getting to me. I don't think there is a single day that I am at work where I get to go home and I'm in a good mood. Or at least an okay mood. Everyday, I'm tired, cranky and just not wanting to deal with anything at home. I don't know if it's depression or if it's just the life that I have at work affecting me to the point that it's affecting the the rest of my life. I have no idea if that made sense, but do you know what I mean? I want to get home happy and ready to clean and cook and make the hubby happy. I don't want to vent about work or think about how miserable I am.

I just don't think I can take it anymore. I am grateful that they sometimes do things for me, like they DID give me the time off to go see my mom in CA. But there's so much more on the CONS side that makes me want to turn in my two weeks notice and not give a shit about what I am leaving behind. Which is HORRIBLE of me, I always want to leave my job on a good note and make sure I still have friends there. But here, here I don't CARE.

We'll see what happens tomorrow. I turned in a couple of applications on Tuesday last week because I didn't know if they were going to give me the time off and I finally just decided to grow some balls and just do it. So I got a call back from a company that wants to meet me. We'll see what happens. Perhaps this my next step to a happier life.

These past 2 weeks have flown by so quickly. With Rick home, it has kind of thrown my schedual off and I am finally getting used to having him around, and not working out and eating more. Haha. I need to lose these pounds!

HOME! I miss home...

I talked to my mom a while back. Rick and I have always planned to go back to CA for at least a week this summer. But my mom is having surgery done in late June. So I decided that I would go then. The place that she lives in is too small and with her not feeling well after her surgery, it would just make it uncomfortable for all of us to stay there. So Rick is not coming with me. That's okay. He will get to play with the cats and I get a chance of alone time with my mom and get some shopping done! I can't wait!!!

My favorite place in the world: Stanford Mall!

I was scared that work wouldn't let me go. I know that other people were wanting to take that time off and did get it and I would have to stay here. Well, that was fine until I found out the dates and I told them that if I didn't get to go, then I would have to think about my position here. So yesterday they informed me that I got all the days off that I wanted. Which is really cool. But that means a less motivation to quit here. :-/

The weather has been really nice here lately. So nice that my cat Leo has been running way from home and not coming back for a while. It freaks the hell out of us. And last night he did it around 9pm. During the daytime it's easier for us to look for him of course. So I was really mad at him for doing that last night. He has had his outdoor privilages taken from him. Eck! Poor cat. maybe that will stop him from doing that now.

Yay! The hubby is home! He came in at around 7:30 last night. It was so awesome to see him. Before I went onto base, I stopped by Starbucks to get some chai teas. And they gave them to me for free when I told them I was picking up Rick. That was really nice of them.

He's had to go into work today really early, but hopefully he will get some rest in the next week or so. Yay! Rick is home!

Rick gets in today! Excited! But now I just found out that his plane is delayed by 4.5 hours! GRRRRR!!! It's not fair! I just want to see my husband. It's not fair! :( Nothing I can do about any of it, so I just have to learn to be paitent and calm and cool.

i carry your heart with me

by e. e. cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it (anywhere

i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want

no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

I am only 15 days or so away from Rick. Yay! I'm so excited! I hope that he doesn't mind that the kitties have taken over his spot on the bed! Leo and Bella curl up with me every night.

I've starting cleaning up the house more. This past weekend, I cleaned the kitchen and the living room. I have to hit the dining room and office this week. Eventually I will get to the bathrooms.

I HATE cleaning bathrooms. I seriously was delusional when I was living with Nikki, my roommate when I was living in Monterey. I thought there was like a bathroom cleaning fairy and it was all done nice just for me. Ummm.... NO. It was actually Nikki cleaning the bathroom all the time. I was really lucky to have her as my roommate. The best one for sure. I only have a short time with other roomies, but it was weird and it was so scary living in a house in Seaside, up a couple of blocks from a high school and the ghetto. I am thankful for my Nikki. We used to do the funnest, silliest things, and I could totally go and talk to her when I needed to. She is so smart and so purty. :) She and the hubby Ron live in Washington and he's deploying soon. Sad. :( Hopefully I will go and visit her sometime soon.

I MISS YOU NIKKI! COME VISIT ME SOOOOOOOON!!

So.... while Rick is busy saving the world, I try to stay busy and not as lonely. I have my friends to pick me up and keep me happy while he's gone. I have some very awesome friends and there is one couple that's just always so much to go out with. Chris and Michelle have been married for about 2 years. I met them once we came out here to Omaha and we hang out with them quite a bit. While Michelle was on her deployment, we kept Chris has busy was we could on the weekends especially. Well, they in turn are keeping me busy on the weekends. I don't think I have been out this much since the summer of 2005. Whoo wee! That was a fun summer! And this season has been really close to it. Except that I'm married now, so I don't end up going home with someone. Haha! And that's a good thing!

Anyways... these are pics from just 2 nights of going out with them. And we went out last weekend, so I will have to get those pics from them soon.

Michelle and I with our Long Islands!

Okay, that was just a funky pic

Michelle and I at Bullfeathers

Me with the famous fishbowl! That was just start...

GRRRR!!!

I just found out that Rick won't be home until the 28th of this month. The next deployment is leaving a week late and so that means instead of coming on time, he's coming like a week and a half later than anticipated. On a good note on that, that means I have more time to get the house ready. Haha! But I was already getting into him coming home and what we were going to do and to make it more comfortable for him. :( It's frustrating, and LONELY, but I am a strong woman! :)

Felicity just had her baby this week! I can't believe that one of us is a MAMA! It's the first out of my friends that has had a baby. Well.... who's next?? Haha! I can't wait to meet little William Charles Hancock! It will be a while before I go out there but I WILL MAKE IT! I promise Fizzy! Your little family is beautiful!

Who really will be next? We are getting to that age that everyone is growing their own little families. I can't wait to have a couple of kids. I'm just going to have to ask Felicity all about the birth part and then I'll see how many I really do want.

CONGRATS FELICITY AND NATHANIEL!

We had a gorgeous weekend here in Omaha. I'm glad, we needed to finally warm up here after all the cold and snowy days.

Sunday night, my friends and I get together for dinner at someone's place. It's always great, dinner is always fresh and very well prepared. I've had great fish, chicken, and Ashley's husband makes some really awesome desserts. I haven't had an Sunday dinners at my house, just cause it's easier to go where everyone is closer. It's also a mess at the house. And I do always try to contribute to the dinners, by usually bring a nice wine that we can enjoy with the meal. Last night's dinner was awesome.

After dinner, we usually just relax and watch tv or a movie. Last night though we played the Friends' edition of Scene It, a game that's done from watching a DVD and guessing the answers. It was a ton of fun and though I didn't win this time, I WILL next time! Haha! I will have to watch my Friends' DVD collection again so that I can kick butt!

People ask me what is the worst part about my husband being away. Well, there's a lot. Little things like throwing the trash away or cleaning out the litter box of the kitties. I really HATE doing that.

The worst part is the loneliness. I hate feeling so alone in my house, at work, even with friends. I don't have my better half near me and it feels like my heart is torn in two and I can't do anything about it. I know it's the military life. I could have it so much worse. I could be without my husband for 6, 8, even 18 months! So I try not to feel sorry for myself too much and I try to keep busy with friends. It's hard though when there's a story I want to tell him and don't want to bombard his e-mail with all my crap. I don't want to stress him out with my stuff and my worries.

I pray every night that he is doing well and that he is safe. I also hope that he misses me, though that would be bad cause I wouldn't want him more stressed out than he already is from work. But just a little missing here and there would be good. haha.

Only a couple more weeks to go. I can do it! SPRING is here and I can't wait to enjoy it with him!

EEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I GOT TICKETS FOR THE SOUL TO SOUL II CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!

I get to see Tim McGraw & Faith Hill on June 6, 2007!

Yay! Our couple friends Chris and Michelle also got some tickets. I'm so excited! I was thinking Rick would be mad, cause just bought them on a whim, but he just asked if he had to go. Well, unless someone else wants to go with me, NIKKI, then I will totally force him to go. Haha, he was forced to go to the James Blunt concert last year and he ended up really like it all, so I think he will enjoy it in the end. EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE MY JOB

I know that I have said that in the past and I threaten to leave the job. It's still hasn't happened. I applied for another position in this place but still haven't gotten any information on whether or not I got it. Most likely I haven't. It's just kind of frustrating because I want to to keep going up and up or go to another company but then I feel bad. They are moving into another building by the end of this year, so it's a lot of work that my replacement would have and a lot more to learn, since I have been given new responsibilities. So I don't think that I will quit until after the move, if I am still in this same position. I also feel bad, cause I would be leaving the Office Manager, and I think she's come to rely on me for a lot of venting and ideas for how to make the company better, though most ideas are not taken into consideration.

I feel like I can't go higher that where I am in life. I feel like I will always have mediocre jobs, that nothing will be better for my financially in my jobs because I don't have a degree. I also can't find a job related to the things I have done in the past. BLAH.

I HATE MY JOB LIFE.

OH mylanta! I forgot that I didn't put pictures up of Ashley's birthday. It was the 23rd of Feb. So we all went out to Downtown to a bar called the Dubliner. It was a lot of fun and I got to finally see Zynda after being gone for 4 months. Becki, Ashley's best friend, lives in Georgia, so she came up to visit her for her birthday. She's just the coolest dudette. She's be back again later this month, so I'll probably have more pics of us going out.

RESPECT!!! WHAT UP !?!

Stu, Me, Zynda

THUMBS UP!

Ashley, Becki and Me Nectar de Pollo!

It's MEEEEE!

BORED OUT OF MY MIND!!!

I hate my job, I have nothing to do today. I did the one thing that I HAD to do today. Blah, what else to do to kill the next 6 hours of my day!

On a good note, it's been one month since Rick has been gone. So that means it's just 5-6 weeks before he comes home. :) I'm so excited. I am so bored without him here and it's quite lonely at night. Though I hope he dosen't mind that I am starting to take over most of the bed. Haha. I miss him so much, I don't know how other people do it for longer periods of time.

Hmmmm... okay, I guess that's my little vent for the day.

Ciao!

Yesterday was my birthday and it was actually one of the most stressful days I had had in a while and also since Rick left. I have been trying so hard to be brave and think about all the positives of him being gone, like losing weight, finally getting to my knitting, and that it's only 2 months, etc. But yesterday, he called me at work right after he had gotten back from a flight. And I know he was tired and that he's under even more stressful situations than I am. But he didn't seem that enthused to talk to me, and barely said Happy Birthday to me. And that's when I broke down. I couldn't stop crying all day. I could barely answer the phones at work without sounding depressed. My co-workers Rachel and Elizabeth took me out to lunch and that was fun, but I was still not feleing well from the morning. The afternoon went by slowly and when I got home, I made plans for dinner with Ashley, Elvis and Zynda. Again, still crying througout all of this. Finally I started getting ready and got a lot of phone calls from friends saying Happy Birthday. So that was nice. Well, on the way out, I had forgotten that I had set the alarm and it went off. So I was late to dinner waiting around to see if cops came even though I had disarmed it. Finally, I got to dinner almost 30 minutes late and crying and depressed as hell. Ashley took me into the bathroom and we talked for awhile about what had happened during the day. I was able to calm down and then go and enjoy dinner. After dinner, Zynda and I went to get some Starbucks and we talked for quite a while. It was good to vent and enjoy a Chai Tea. :) I am feeling a bit blah today. I don't hear from Rick very often, not even through e-mails, and it's getting to me. Other couple friends are saying that's such a good way to keep in touch and that is not working for us. I don't know if it's cause he doens't have time or doesn't want to or another million other excuses. I also don't want to complain to him about it cause that's another stress he doesn't need to deal with. So it is very stressful to keep it all in. I can't wait until he comes home. And then I won't have to worry about stuff like again, or at least until the next deployment.

On February 16, 2007, my friends Ashley and Elvis got married at the Omaha Courthouse!!! It was very nice ceremony done by a judge. Jimmy was Elvis's witness and I was Ashley's. Afterwards, we went out to dinner at M's Pub. I wish them lots of love and happiness and that their future together is bright... wow, very Hallmark card like. Haha!

In the last couple of days, Bella and Leo have been missing their daddy. So they decided that they wanted to send themselves to Daddy and keep him company while he is away. Bella's eyes remind me of the Puss in Boots in the movie Shrek! Haha!

I miss Rick a lot. Though, I do like having the whole bed to myself. But then it's a colder bed and it's not as welcoming at night as when he is there. I can't wait until he gets back. 1 week down, 7 more to go. Yes, it's going to be a long count down.